Group
Support
Dialog
Groups
Study Groups
Self-Led Study Support Groups
Overview
Study Groups are based around the Getting the Love You Want Workbook, and provide couples who are new to Imago with the education and skills necessary to start on the path, as well as offering experienced couples a "refresher course" and a chance to share their skills. Although intensive workshops and practice with an Imago counselor are recommended later down the path, Study Groups offer Imago education and practical experience to couples who live in areas not served by Imago counselors or workshops, as well as serving couples for whom cost is an issue.
Although the workbook can be completed by individual couples on their own, Study Groups provide busy couples an incentive to complete the work each week, since many of the written exercises may be completed during group and since they will report back on their completion of "homework." Study Groups also provide a forum for discussion of personal experiences and issues with the exercises. Imago is hard work, and a supportive network to hear others' struggles and triumphs can really help!
Leading a Study Group
It is recommended that Study Groups be facilitated by a mentor couple with Imago experience consisting of:
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Completion of an intensive Getting the Love You Want workshop
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Completion of the original Getting the Love You Want book
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Several sessions with a certified Imago counselor
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Completion of the New Couples' Study Guide and all exercises with their partner prior to starting the group
The advantage of having a facilitator with this experience is that some of the more difficult exercises, including dialogue techniques, may be demonstrated in the front of the group during the weeks when they are covered by the Workbook. However, to ensure safety, attending couples should not practice dialogues and exercises that may lead to regression during group. Dialogue exercises are meant to be completed at home, and the group time is meant for reflecting on these experiences.
Group Format
Group time is used primarily for completing written exercises suggested by the book and sharing personal reactions to these in a non-judgmental environment. Group time is also used to reflect on personal experiences with dialogues and other exercises that were completed at home during the previous week. Working on written exercises during group gives busy couples incentive to get started, and provides "safety in numbers" that may help beginning couples feel comfortable working with their partner.
As stated earlier, group time is not for actually practicing dialogues
or other exercises that may cause regression to childhood. An experienced
facilitator couple may demonstrate these exercises before the homework
each week, but regressive dialogues such as the Container, Behavior Change
Request, and Holding Exercise should only be practiced at home.
Attending couples and facilitators should be committed to following the chapters and exercises in the book "by the letter." The process has cumulative benefits, so doing each written and verbal exercise in order, along with reading the appropriate chapter of Getting the Love You Want to go with each workbook chapter, is important. It is suggested that the first week of group be used to discuss ground-rules for respectful sharing of weekly homework experiences and reactions to the written exercises. "Respectful" feedback is does not blame one's partner or others in the group, but simply shares one's own reflections on what they are learning about themselves through completing the exercises.
Group Size and Location
Community centers and churches are great locations for study groups, since they are often free to use for members of those communities. Facilitators' homes are also a good meeting place, as well as rotating homes for non-hierarchical groups. In keeping with the spirit of the Study Groups to provide an opportunity for everyone to experience the magic of Imago, fees should not be charged except to pay nominal costs for space rental and refreshments.
Ideal group size is 4-8 couples to maximize safety in sharing. All group members should commit to attending for the duration of the 3-month series, and to "do their homework" as a couple during any missed weeks so that they are on the same page as the group when they return.